My Big Girl!

London is looking more and more like a toddler all the time to me. She is a funny little thing packed with personality. She is almost 1 1/2! Yay for nursery time! We still have to get London to walk. She stands up in the middle of the room, cruises, and will walk if you hold her hand but nothing on her own yet. I secretly think she can walk and just doesn't. She has also started climbing stairs and loves going up them but cant figure out how to come down yet....so she climbs up and then sits at the top and cries until you come get her. London is out little fishy. She absolutely loves the water. When we go boating or anywhere with water she just wants to be in it all the time. London is happy little thing and we are glad that she is part of our family.

She looks like such a big girl with her hair in pigtails!

Getaway

Shortly after the funeral was Emily's 25th birthday. She told me that she really wanted to do a getaway. (She's been telling me that for years, but I finally listened to her this time). We decided to go somewhere fun and new, so we decided to try Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. (home of Dollywood). We weren't sure what to expect, but found a nice little hotel where we could relax and enjoy life. Grandma & Grandpa Rupp volunteered to watch the kids for the 2 nights we were gone, which I am very grateful for. We drove up Thursday night and enjoyed the sound of kid freedom all night. Friday we explored and found some great little shops. (They have a bunch of Christmas shops there open all year round, one even had a fancy hotel that we had to check out. It was a very nice place with Christmas themes and decorations up. If we ever make it back there, that's where we are staying.) We took advantage of our kid freedom and went and saw a movie, and then played some miniature golf. (I tried to let Emily win because I know how competitive she is, but she was too impatient for some of the obstacles, and from time to time I have to use some of my mad skills and remind her why she married me). On Saturday we got to have our favorite Golden Corral breakfast buffet with unlimited bacon, and then went for a little hike in the Smoky Mountains before coming back home. It was a great trip and I think she convinced me to do these getaways a little more often. A very Happy Birthday to my beautiful bride! What an amazing wife she is to me and wonderful mother she is to our children. I don't know how I got so lucky to have her as my eternal companion, but I'm very grateful I do. I don't know what I would do without her in my life. I love you Emily for all that you do and all that you are!

We tried to get a picture of the Pigeon Forge sign, while moving.

Showing off my mad putting and dressing skills.

The Christmas Story display at The Inn at Christmas Village.

I couldn't resist touching the lamp. It's a major award!

The hiking trail we took in the Smoky Mountains. Not too demanding, but definitely felt it afterwards.

I like to get out in nature.

The cute little waterfall at the end of the trail.

Sandbox Adventures

We decided that Brayden is getting big enough that he needs to have a way to burn off energy, be playing outdoors and be constructively destructive. So we figured the best way to accomplish all of that was to get him a sandbox. Since we are renting we didn't want anything permanent, so we went to the store and found a Little Tikes turtle sandbox. Luckily for frugal dad, there was a baby swimming pool on clearance right next to the turtles, and it was only $10 instead of $40, which meant we could get a few toys also. Gotta love summer clearance sales. We even got some extra sand since we're pretty sure it will somehow lose sand over time. We got it set up and use the regular swimming pool as a cover for it. Brayden got up from his nap and came out in the yard to see what Dad was doing. He picked up the upside down pool because he's curious like that and was super happy when he saw the sandbox and toys under it. He had so much fun that he got Jason to come play with him. Jason wanted satsified with only digging holes and building hills, so he added some water to make it more fun.

Brayden loved the idea of adding water to the mix and had to try it himself.


Of course by the end, Brayden was pretty much covered in sand, so he got bathed in the hose.

Madison's Funeral Service

We had an amazing memorial service for our little angel Madison. Emily & I could not have wished for anything better. We truly have felt the tender mercies of the Lord throughout this whole experience. Heavenly Father truly hears our prayers and knows how to comfort us. We are extremely grateful for all the love and support shown to us. We could not have made it through this without everyone else. We were very blessed to have all of the Rupps and Sessions come out and be with us for this special event. The talks, poems, and musical numbers performed at the memorial service were truly inspired and we felt the Spirit comfort our souls. A very special thank you to our friends, family, and great Bishop for your participation and loving support.

This is the special burial dress that Grandma Rupp made.

This is the special burial blanket that Grandma Sessions made.

Special flowers from family and friends.

Brayden & London seeing Madison for the first time.

Family gathered at the cemetery. We found the perfect

resting spot for our little angel in the Garden of Faith.
Very near to a friend of ours and some trees.

We decided we wanted to do a balloon launch in Madison's honor.

We let off 14 balloons, 1 for each day she lived.

All of her cousins got to participate, though there were some

who didn't want to let go of the balloon.

Emily and I saying our final goodbye.

We are so grateful for the exceptional service provided to us by the Byars Funeral Home and Sawnee View Cemetery for making this difficult process easier to handle and helping us create a special final memory tribute to our little angel.

We had a luncheon back at the church that was jointly put on by both Relief Societies. The food was incredible, and the love and support shown to us and our families was truly exemplary. Thank you so much Milton & Webb Bridge sisters.

Madion Faith Sessions' Funeral Service Info

On August 6, 2010, we will be holding a funeral service for Madison.

It will be held at the Church of latter-day Saints located on 510 Brannon Rd. Cumming, GA 30041

The Itinerary for Friday, August 6th is as follows:

9:30-10:00am: Family Viewing

10:00am-10:50am-Public Viewing and Visting (RS room)

11:00am-11:30am-Funeral Service (Chapel)

1:00pm-Grave Dedication (Cemetery-by invitation only)

2:00pm-Luncheon (Family and close friends)

If you need anymore info let Jason or I know.

Madison's Final Moments....

We just wanted to update everyone on Madison...

Madison passed away on August 1, 2010 at 1:14am. This is the story (condensed version) of her final hours and moments...

On Saturday, Jason and I met at the hospital around noon, during Jason's MBA class break. Usually, we did not get a chance to go to see Madison together between the kids and schedules, so it was nice that we were going to meet and be able to be together. When, I arrived at the hospital, the doctor was waiting for me, and said that Madison was not doing well. I called Jason and told him to hurry and get to the hospital as the UGA MBA building is about 10 minutes away from the hospital. When Jason got to the hospital, the doctor came and talked to us. She said that Madison's lab results were elevated and she was back on the Oscillator, the high powered ventilator. Also, the doctor said that they had been able to feed, small amounts of milk, all night and she had done ok with it. They were interested in why she did so well over the night eating, since she had been unable to tolerate the feedings before. They did an x-ray which came back abnormal. At that point, the doctors were unsure of what was causing the problems. I asked the doctor on a scale of 1 to 10 how worried she was about Madison and she said about a 9. Not good...

Jason had to go back to his second class, since it is finals time, and I went back to pick up the kids, at my parents house. Jason and my dad were going to meet, at 4:30pm ,after his class, to give Madison a blessing. After Jason got home, I was going to go back to the hospital to be with Madison during the evening and night.

I got home and put the kids down for afternoon naps, and decided to lay down and take a nap too . Just after I laid down, I got a call from the doctor telling me that they did another x-ray and found a perforation in Madison's bowel. They were unsure of how bad it was but that she was in critical condition and we needed to get back to the hospital now. I called Jason and my parents and we all left right away to go to the hospital. Thank you sweet Bonnie for dropping everything and coming to watch the kids!

When we got to the hospital, Madison was surrounded by nurses and the doctor. The doctor talked to us about Madison's condition and our options. Basically, she had a perforation in her bowl that ideally needed surgery. However, she was too small and too unstable to transfer her across the street to the children's hospital. The perforation was causing air and junk to leak into her stomach and the air was crushing her lungs. The second option was to put a drain into her stomach and let the air and junk out. A surgeon from the children's hospital would come over and do the surgery at her bedside. Even though the surgery was not long term and did not have a high long term success rate, something needed to be done immediately. I talked with the surgeon, on the phone, and we decided to go ahead and do the drain surgery.

Before the surgeon did the surgery, we were able to give Madison a blessing. Jason gave her a beautiful blessing, as he had with all her others, we all felt the Lord with us. The surgery solved the immediate problem, however, there were other complications such as her brain bleeding she had had as well as her kidneys had stopped functioning early that morning around 5am. Her liver was already damaged from only being on iv nutritional and not milk and they were concerned that she would not be able to get big enough, only on iv nutrition, to get the major surgery on her intestines.

We waited until the 10pm test results came back but they did not look good. At that point, Madison was beginning to swell since her kidneys were not working and she was on a morphine drip as well as other pain medications. We began to pray that we would know what to do for our sweet baby. We were blessed to feel that Madison's purpose on this life had been fulfilled and it was her time to go. We had my parents and Jason's parents come back down to the hospital so that they could be there for her final moments. We had to sign a DNR and DNI so that we could take her off her machines.

Since Jason and I had never gotten to hold her, only touch her through the incubator, we decided that we wanted a chance to hold her, while she was still alive, and before things became critical and we did not have that chance.

The doctors and nurses gave her a lot of pain medication and put her on a portable ventilator and moved her into a private room so we could hold her. It was so great to be able to hold her! Everyone was able to have a chance to hold her and then the doctors pulled out her ventilator. Madison lived about 5 to 10 minutes and then she joined her Heavenly Father. We were able to continue holding her as long as we wanted and then take out all her IVs and pick lines and give her a bath and dress her. The doctors, nurses, and hospital staff were so wonderful. Thank you to Jenn and Chris and Ken and Donna for taking the kids for a couple days so that we could have a break and plan the funeral!

The ward has been amazing and so loving and we are grateful for everyone's love and support.

Jason and I know that Madison is with her Father in Heaven and that Families are Eternal and Forever. We are beyond grateful for this knowledge and the comfort that it has brought to us. We know that our sweet baby is a perfect little being and it gives our family renewed drive to live better lives so that we can be with her once again. We have had our moments, and will continue to do so, but for the most part we are doing ok. We are at peace knowing Madison is in a much better place and we are grateful she is not suffering anymore. We are proud of her for fulfilling her mission here one earth and being such a brave little girl for doing so. She fought a great fight and is "our little lion".We love our sweet baby so so much and while we miss her, we are so greatful she is part of our family.

Madison update- 7/27/2010

Today was a rough day but I am counting my blessings for all the little miracles and things we have. Madison continues to do well on some fronts and we have been presented with some new struggles on others. She is doing great on the regular ventilator. Her skin is improving for the most part. She looks like a little boxer in this picture with her hands all taped. But fitting since she is our little fighter. Her toes are much improved although the doctor told us that although they may not be black anymore we have to watch to make sure they grow properly. Madison's weight continues to remain about the same...around 1lb. 4.5oz. The doctors tried feeding her again but she didn't do so well with it which is not unusual for her gestational age. It was rather alarming seeing her today as she has an iv in her head. She has no more usable veins left and apparently, your head has very good ones. I had a hard time seeing her with it in but the drs assured us it was ok.

The hard new came when we met with the neonatologist. The doctor had called last night and said that Madison's head ultrasound had come back showing bleeding in her brain and she was concerned and wanted to meet with us today to talk about it. Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well last night. Madison has grade 4 bleeding in her brain, which is the worst grade possible. Usually, babies with grade 4 bleeds do not live but luckily Madison was blessed and due to the location of the bleed, at the front of her brain, the doctors feel that she still has a chance. If the bleed was anywhere else it would be worse because it would be where most of the new brain cells are made and she wouldn't have a chance. The grade 4 bleeding is only on one side of her brain although it has overflowed to the other side as well. There shouldn't be anymore new bleeds at this point, they just have to watch to see if this one is absorbed by the body. The doctor said that it would take a month or two to absorb. Also, we have to watch to see if, because of the bleed, her brain produces fluid normally and does not begin to back up and put pressure on her brain. If she cannot drain the fluid, then she will have to have an access portal put into her skull to drain the fluid. If she continues to need to access portal by the time she is ready to go home, then the doctors will be able to put a shunt in her skull and run a tube to her stomach to drain the fluid. This would be a lifelong problem that would require multiple surgeries to adjust her shunt. However...all of this is a maybe that could happen. As far as the bleeding affecting her brain functioning, the doctors said that about 80% of babies have some sort of brain damage that affects functioning. It is too early to see how she will be affected or what she will have to deal with but I am preparing myself to deal with some challenges due to this.

We feel so blessed that Madison still has a chance to live and continue to pray for her. We have seen so many miracles and prayers answered in regard to her development and health and we know that this new development will be no different.

our new house...

new house

the kitchen

the living room

At the beginning of July, we moved to a new house. Our lease on our town home was up and we needed more room. It wasn't exactly ideal to move in the middle of all the pregnancy struggles but our ward and parents were great and helped us out beyond belief! We could not have done it without everyones help. Thank you so much! Its a good house to rent for now and we are glad to have found it. Luckily, it is right around the corner from our old place and so it wasn't far to move. I promised my sisters i would post pictures so here they are. It is really nice having the space of a house although Jason already hates doing yard work as we have a good sized yard.

Madison update- 7/25/2010

Little Madison continues to be a survivor! She is continuing to hold stable and progressing in many little ways. The heart medication to close her PDA valve worked and because that is now closed her blood pressure is much improved and she is off all of the blood pressure medication at the moment. Yesterday, the doctors were able to take her off the Oscillator, the most high powered type of ventilator, and put her on a regular ventilator. She continues to do well on it...next step is to get off the ventilator and on a c-pap breathing machine. Her brain ultrasounds came back with minimal brain hemorrhage...normal for a preemie, which was a huge blessing! They will continue to monitor her brain for bleeding but for now it looks good. They also tried to give her some milk, nothing for nutritional value, just to begin to prime her stomach for food but she didn't digest it well so the doctors are holding off for now and she will continue to just get iv nutrition.

We love our sweet baby and are so proud of her. She is a tough little fighter and we are grateful for all the progress that she has made so far. I can't believe that it has only been a week since she was born. It seems much longer with all of the physical changes that happen on a daily basis for Madison. It has been an emotional roller coaster for me and combined with postpartum hormones I find myself crying over nothing and everything but that's ok. I am hoping to be able to actually hold Madison soon...in my arms..for more than a minute but we will see what this week brings. It has always been one of the hardest things for me with all of the kids wiating to hold them for the first time. Hopefully, we won't have to wait much longer...

Madison update 7/22/2010

Holding Madison for the 1st time

Madison in her little blue light sunglass shields..they protect her eyes while she is under the blue jaundice lights

Sweet baby-looking so much better today!

I just love her little tiny hands!

Sorry that I did not get an update posted yesterday for everyone. I just got back from the hospital and this is the latest update...

Madison is doing a lot better today. She had a rough day yesterday. Yesterday, they were having a hard time keeping her blood pressure up and had her on every possible medication they could to keep it up. Her toes were still somewhat black and she is still having problems with her skin being so fragile and tearing. Each day, she gets about 2 blood transfusions plus platelets to keep her blood levels up. She has so little blood and they have to take so much to run tests so they have to keep re -giving her some. They also started Madison on some medication to close her PDA valve in her heart. All babies are born with it open but it usually closes after birth and Madison's has not. The drs thought this was contributing to her low blood pressure. My dad, Jason, our our old Bishop, Bishop Mower, came down to the hospital and gave Madison another blessing. The blessing really helped as today she was doing so much better.

Today, Madison is off all of the blood pressure medications for the moment. She is keeping it stable and the heart medication has seemed to help. It is a 3 day course of medication so they will test her heart again after the 3rd day. Madison's toes look a lot better. Her one foot is has almost all the black gone! She was much more active today. I even got to hold her in my hands for 2 minutes while the nurse put the jaundice blue lights underneath her. It was great to be able to hold her! The doctors did some head ultrasounds yesterday but we are still waiting for the results to see if their is bleeding in her brain. The doctor thought that there was some but he was unsure how bad it was. We are taking it day by day and glad that she is having a little better of a day today.

Baby Madison Faith Sessions

Baby Madison Faith Sessions was born Sunday, July 18, 2010 at 9:48pm. Madison weighed in at 1 lb 4.5oz and 12 inches long.

On Friday, July 17th, I went into the Doctor for my weekly progesterone shot. I was having a lot of cramping and didn't feel good. The doctor ended up checking me out and they did an ultrasound. the ultrasound showed that I had started to dilate from the inside out, which is rare. Usually, it happens the other way around. The doctor gave me some anti-contraction medication, pain medication and sent me home to take it easy. On Saturday night, I was in a lot of pain and so I sent Jason out to a 24 hour pharmacy to get my pain prescription filled. On Sunday, I still was hurting and so I stayed in bed. Jason went to sacrament meeting with London, while Brayden stayed home with me and took a nap. As Jason was sitting down at church, London started crying and spit up all over Jason and herself, so they headed back home. When Jason got home, I was coming out of the bathroom where my water had broken (this was around noon). I layed back down to wait things out a bit to see what was going to happen. About 1/2 hour later, I started bleeding and we decided that I needed to go into the hospital. My mom came over and watched the kids and Jason took me to the hospital. The doctors looked at me and did an ultrasound and confirmed that my water had broken. Things were under control for the moment and so Jason left to go back home and get the kids home for bed.

Around 8:30pm, I started hemorrhaging really bad. I called Jason and told him to leave for the hospital that minute. the doctor came in to look at me and by that time, I was bleeding so bad, it was like a water facet. The nurses and doctors started prepping me for an emergency c-section. They didn't have time to put in an epidural and so they just put me out the sleeping gas. Jason wasn't allowed in the room, but he wasn't at the hospital yet anyway. I am glad that they just put me out completely. I was crying so hard, just scared for the baby, and then I started going into shock and shaking uncontrollably. When I woke up, the baby was in the NICU and Jason was in the recovery room with me. The down-side of not having an epidural was that when I woke up I hurt so so bad. They started pumping me full of pain medicine but it took a couple hours for me to be able to get the pain under control. Jason was able to go up to the NICU and see Madison. My parents came down to the hospital, after Jason's parents got to our house to watch the kids, and Jason and my dad were able to give Madison a name and a blessing. My mom was a sweetheart and rubbed my back along with my good friend Maelena. Jason and my dad also gave me another blessing and we settled in for the night not knowing what to expect as the docotor said that this inital week of Madison's life would tell a lot.

The next day, Monday, the doctors had to give me ablood transfusion after losing so much blood the night before. That delayed me seeing Madison longer but around 4pm, I was finally allowed to go up and see her. She was/is so tiny and sweet.

Her eyes are still fused shut and it will proably be a couple of weeks unil they open. Her skin is so fragile, they cannot tape anything to her skin or else is would just peel of. The doctors had trouble getting a cental pick line into her for her medications and feedings but on the last try, before doing it surgically, they were able to get one in. She has had some blood circulation problems and so her little toes are black. We are waiting to see if the skin will begin to heal or if they need to ultimatly be amputated. Only time will tell. She is on a ventilator but on a low oxygen pressure. Considering all things she is doing well. We are taking things one day a time and one challenge at a time. We love our sweet baby and are so greatful that she had a chance to gain a body and come into this world. We know that whatever the Lord wants it will all work out and be for the best.

Thank you to everyone for their prayers and well wishes. We will keep you updated through the blog and all the happenings that happen.
Little Madison in the incubator

Her tiny little legs

You can see her black little toes

Madison's left leg is all bandaged up becasue her skin is so fragile

Madison's special incubator blanket, that helpes keep the light out, that my mom, Grandma Rupp made special

More blanket...thanks mom for the special blanket!

Madison's tiny diapers which she swims in-they are smalle than our cell phones

Seeing Madison for the first time

Madison's tiny hand...yes this is all of her fingers next to my pointer finger

The size of her little leg bone

Tiny baby hands

We tryed to get a point of reference to show how little Madison is. She is about the size of a dollar bill

Her hat is so big it covers her whole head and face